A trip to Kaiba Land gone wrong
by Chained and Tortured
Summary: Bakura and Anzu are lost in a forest after losing control of their car, due to the deaths of countless rabbits. It was simple: Find a way out of a stupid forest. But now they've got to find they're way out of a stupid haunted mansion. BakuraXAnzu
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.**

--

Anzu glared at Bakura.

Bakura glared back.

"This is your fault." said Anzu as she speeded up her face.

"Me? Maybe if you had watched the road instead of giving friendship speeches we wouldn't be in this mess."

"I wouldn't have been giving speeches if you hadn't been throwing daggers at all the rabbits we passed."

"They were mocking me with their infernal twitching!"

"...That's low."

"Want me to rhow a dagger at _you?"_

Anzu shut up. But that didn't mean she had stopped blaming him. On the contrary, he was threatening her to keep her quiet. She knew it.

She sighed. It was supposed to be a peaceful ride to the Kaiba Land. Mokuba had been asking Kaiba for it for ages, and when Kaiba had finally gotten the time to get him one, Yugi and the gang had gotten the first invites.

Not that Kaiba approved.

They had all tooken partners.

Rebecca and Yugi.

Honda and Jounouchi.

Yami and Mr.Motou.

Ryou was sick so that meant Anzu had to go with Bakura.

She scowled. She had wanted a car to herself. But seeing as they were all two seaters. (Yami had messed up the orders, It was supposed to be one minibus but once told that the two seaters were more expensive and in style, Yami took them instead. Meaning he and Yugi would lose allowance and be working in the shop on weekends.)

But unfortunately after killing three rabbits with daggers, Bakura had forced Anzu to stop looking at the map and give long speeches on the innocence of animals and why Bakura shou;d never hurt anything that hadn't deserved it.

In which case Bakura had argued with her, saying that rabbits ate poor innocent grass.

Ofcourse, he didn't care. He was argueing for the sake of argueing.

And everyone knows that you can't talk and read at the same time.

Bakura pushed aside some branches. "Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Well according to the map. Yes."

"Bitch."

"Asshole."

"Slut."

"Mothfucker."

"Whore."

"Bastard."

"Fuck you."

It went on like this for awhile.

"When're we going to get out of this Ra foresaken forest?"

Grooooooooooowl.

"Mazaki, what was that?" Bakura eyed around and pulled out a knife. Expecting something to attack them. Of course, he'd only kill it once it ate Mazaki.

Anzu grabbed Bakura's arm, to his irritation. "I think it might be a bear." she whispered.

There it was again. That low menancing grumble.

"Bakura... that's your stomach."

--

Bakura held the dead squirrel over the fire. He didn't want to eat it, it looked ghastly. And if you think he rubbed two sticks together to make the fire, you're wrong. Anzu had brought matches. "I didn't know you smoked Mazaki."

"I don't" she said for the hundreth time. "Just because I brought tobacco and matches you immidiately think I'm a smoker."

"Well even if you are, you have good taste." he said, holding up the box of cigarette. "Cat and M.L. hard to find."

"I still can't believe two fifteen year old girls make cigarette's. Is it even legal?"

"Who gives a rats ass?"

"I wonder if their parents know."

"Well, they've printed their names on the bloody box." he said, taking a bite of the squirrels head and resisting the urge to throw up, he held the squirrel up to Anzu. He needed to keep her alive so she could read the map and get them out of here. Then she would die. "Muwahahahahahaha!" he laughed evilly.

(o.o;;)

Anzu edged away slowly. "I think I'll stick to the apples I found."

"..."

--

"I can't believe we found a mansion in the middle of nowhere. It isn't even listen on the map."

"Mazaki, accoprding to the map, didn't we pass that forest five hours ago?"

Silence.

"OMFG! BAKURA! WHY'D YOU POINT THIS OUT _NOW?"_

"YOU'RE THE ONE READING THE DAMN FUCKING THING!"

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES! THAT'S ALL YOUR GOOD FOR!"

"FUCK YOU MAZAKI!"

"FUCK YOU BAKURA!"

"Not on the Masters Porch."

"AAARRRRGGGHHH!" Anzu and Bakura screamed, jumping ten feet back, arms around each other staring at the dark haired young man in front of them.

"Who the _fuck_ are you?" asked Bakura, letting go of Anzu.

"Ooof!" she fell to the ground.

The man shrugged. "The name is Taiko and you can't have sex in my masters front yard."

Anzu's face flushed. "We didn't mean-"

"Yes, yes, quite. Now, do you two have a place to stay? It's getting dark."

--

"I hope we aren't bothering you by staying." said Anzu as Taiko showed her and Bakura to a room.

"No, not at all. My master will be pleased to have guests. Especially two beautiful young woman." with that he left.

Five seconds later:

"OMFG!" Anzu laughed and grabbed her stonach. "Oh God Bakura! Taiko thought you were a- a GIRL!"

Bakura's right eye twitched.

"This is a nice place-" Anzu was cut off with a long 'Ahooooooooo'

Her eyes widened.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, baaaaaang.

Bakura's eyebrows knotted together. 'What the..?'

Suddenly there was a large flash and the newly furnished room was suddenly broken down and filled in cob webs.

"W-what just happened?" asked Anzu, shivering.

"I don't like this-"

There was a scream.

Anzu grabbed Bakura's arm again and to his annoyance... he found he wasn't annoyed. Which was annoying him.

"B-Bakura... the windows are locked..."

"Taiko bastard!" shouted Bakura. "Wherver the fuck you are, get your fucking ass in here!"

Anzu pulled closer to him when there was a small 'Creak'.

"Come on," Bakura pulled away from her and pushed open the door. He hadn't pushed very hard, actually, it was quite gentle. But the door fell down. He frowned. "Something's wrong..."

"You fiquired that out just now?" yelled Anzu.

"Shut up." he gripped her wrist.

"You shut up! You've been bossing me around since we got here!" Anzu stomped her foot.

Resulting to the floor under them giving way. **(1)**

-----

**1) You know something funny? I wanted to type 'And they died' there... (O.o)**

Cat: Oooh, well, that was totally random. I just felt like starting a new story for some weird reason. Anyways, it's real boring right now. The humor and perverted junk will definitely start in the next chapter. So review for me pplz!

P.S: I accept flames. I will roast squirrels on them! Buwahahaha! (0.o)


	2. Chapter 2

Cat: Yo people!

Alex: (Waves) Sup?

Cat: Thank you, kind folks, for reviewin'!

Disclaimer: I do not own YGO. Never will.

"Ewww... I'm all... Dusty."

"Allow me to answer that with a "Duh""

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Duh?"

"What?"

"Duh!"

"What the hell Mazaki?"

"...Stupid albino thief."

"Bloody cheerleader."

"Get off of me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because," Bakura gritted his teeth. "You're the one sitting on me."

"Oh." Anzu got up, her cheeks flushed.

Bakura rolled his eyes, moved his arms under him and pushed himself up.

"Where are we?" asked Anzu, squinting through the darkness.

"I'd have to say a dark room." Bakura said, dryly.

It was Anzu's turn to roll her eyes, not that Bakura could see it. "Well spotted."

"Also, due to the large hole above us, I believe the floor under us collapsed."

"Absolutely amazing." said Anzu, faking breathlessness.

"It also explains your appearance."

"You can't see my app- How long have you been holding that flashlight?" Bakura grinned.;Anzu's hair was out of place and sticking out in more places then Yami's did, her shirt, once a bright red, now alive with saw dust and dirt, her jeans, knee lenth and not too long ago, a pretty sky blue were now looking a kind of beach color.

Anzu pulled the flashlight out of his hands, and beamed it in to his eyes.

"Ow!"

-----

Yugi looked worried.

"Don't worry about it Yug'. They'll be here." said Jounouchi.

Honda nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you know how girls can be sometimes, side stops and stuff. Anzu probably stopped a couple of times to buy stuff... and stuff."

"Besides, Bakura's-"

"Probably killed her and fed her to snakes." cut in Yami, looking serious. "We should go look for them."

Shizuka frowned, a little jealous. She'd developed a small crush on Yami after Battle City.

"They're only... six hours late."

"I still think we should look for them." said Yami.

"Look," Honda yawned. "If they're not here in a day. We'll go and see, alright?"

Yami frowned, but nodded.

-----

"Hey, umm, Bakura?"

"What is it now?"

"Have you noticed, we've been walking for fifteen minutes, straight. There's no door or stairs, but it's getting narrower."

"I've noticed."

"Bakura?"

"What?" he hissed.

"There's a used condom on the floor."

"...It must've fallen out of my pocket."

"WHAT?"

"I'm kidding."

"Good."

"Now shut up and keep walking."

After a while:

"Bakura?"

"What?"

"Is Ryou gay?" Bakura stared at her, still walking. He stared at her long and hard before answering. "Yes."

"Oh."

"Bakura?"

"Yes?"

"Are you gay?"

Bakura stopped and raised his eyebrow.

"Well, you two do share a body."

Bakura sighed, "No Mazaki I am not gay."

"Ah."

After a while:

"Bakura?"

"What?"

"My legs hurt."

"How so?" his eyes were still on the small path they were now on. He was patiant with her, much to his own disbelief. How big is this place anyway?

"My thighs burn."

Bakura grunted.

"I'm hungry too."

"Weak woman." he hissed under his breath.

"I heard that." said Anzu, from behind him. Almost making him jump.

Bakura gave her another long, hard stare. "So?"

Anzu bit her lip to stop herself from arguing. We should be looking for a way-

"Bakura! A door! Look!" she shouted.

Bakura found himself smiling at her, but stopped as soon as he caught himself.

'Did he just smile at me? Ch'yeah right. Bakura. Smile. ...Ch'yeah right.'

"Holy..." Began Anzu.

"Shit." finished Bakura.

The door had led in to an amazing room, decorated with gold, silver and rubies.

"Hello beautiful lady!" said a young man they'd just noticed. He was waving at them. His hair was a bright red, standing close to on edge. His eyes were a magnificent dark green, like lush grass. His body was a light tan. His chest exposed slightly as his purple jacket was open. His pants a greyish color.

Anzu's jaw dropped. What a hunk!!

Bakura was unfazed, but seeing Anzu's reaction he felt a pring of hatred close to jealousy towars the man.

The man grinned "Well you must be the two, erm," he eyed Bakura and his grin widened. "Beautiful _women_." Anzu immediately noticed the slight english accent and almost melted.

"H-hi." she giggled.

The man smiled, as though knowing her reaon for becoming so bashful. "Why don't I show you around my home? You can stay for a while," he indicated them to go through a door on their right and as they alked past, he breathed; "Or forever."

--

Cat: I wonder who he is. (Grins maliciously as Alex)

Alex: ...You could've atleast changed my clothes in the story.

Cat: But... I like your well exposed chest, onii-san...

Alex: -.-; If you weren't my cousin, I'd have to wonder...

Cat: REVIEW!


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